


Hopeless to Be Had

by voleuse



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s09e04 The Ties That Bind, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 12:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29874786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voleuse/pseuds/voleuse
Summary: I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy.Daniel does not, in fact, know what Vala's doing. Neither does she.
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Vala Mal Doran
Kudos: 9





	Hopeless to Be Had

**Author's Note:**

> Set through 9.04, "The Ties That Bind."

**It's a defense mechanism**

Vala looked from one of the soldiers to the other as she stood in the doorway. "Where's," she rose on tiptoes to look past them. "Isn't anyone else coming?"

Bradley cleared his throat. "We haven't had any word from Doctor Jackson, ma'am."

Vala widened her eyes. "I wasn't asking about Daniel, necessarily--" Rush shifted on his feet. "Fine, let's go."

As they approached the gate room, however, Vala caught a glimpse of Daniel standing by the ramp. She wouldn't say she felt relieved, exactly, but it was somewhere in that vicinity.

***

She hadn't gone much farther than the agora flanking the gate; it would take her a day or two to find a way off the planet that didn't involve buying a ticket.

Vala was in the middle of haggling for a mostly unbroken Goa'uld communicator when a hollow feeling swept through her. She put a hand on the vendor's shoulder to steady herself. After a moment, she shook her head and gave--Andulan, she thought, was his name--and indicated she had changed her mind.

As she turned toward the gate, Andulan chirped a few more offers before Vala was out of earshot. The queue by the dialing device was, thankfully, just one other person. When her turn was up, Vala fiddled a moment with the transmitter Daniel had given to her. ("In case," he had said, "the Ori, or someone.") She punched in the address with her other hand. The all-clear message had only just beeped when her knees buckled and she fainted, falling into the event horizon.

***

Vala drifted back into consciousness.

Doctor Lam stared down at her. "That's what I thought," she said before striding away.

Vala turned her head on the pillow and yes, that was indeed Daniel that she could see in the next bed.

"Well," she muttered to herself, "this is just _great_."

**She lives a solitary existence**

The thing was, lacking a firm exit strategy, Vala found poking at Daniel was much less fun. It completely undermined her--at least half of her rooking required the ability to disappear.

And honestly, she only allowed handsome men to bellow at her if the possibility for some light revenge was in sight. Without any leverage, fighting with Daniel was just...making noise.

***

Conspiring with a shopkeeper to get Daniel and Mitchell into as much leather as possible was the high point of Vala's week.

Waiting for the boys at the gate, however, stretched out endlessly. She sprawled on the stone steps that led up to the ring. She still hadn't managed to get Bradley to smile, but Rush could only maintain a straight face for so long, she was sure of it. He was managing pretty well that day, though, and Vala gave up after about twelve minutes.

When Daniel and Mitchell approached, she sprang from the steps. "Well?"

They remained silent. Daniel was very intentionally looking up at the sky. Mitchell was...was Mitchell snickering?

"What?" Vala demanded.

Mitchell cleared his throat. "There's a hitch." He stepped over to the give the others orders while Daniel gestured for Vala to follow them back.

As they strolled down the avenue leading to the manor, the strange hush continued. Vala glanced at Daniel, but he had that scowl that meant he couldn't believe he missed the _Daedalus_ for this.

But Mitchell, ah. Mitchell would break. Vala stared at him, eyebrows raised, until he threw his hands up. 

"Fine!" He looked over at Daniel, who looked away and began to whistle. "Fine. Arlos asked for you."

Vala gestured at the three of them. "Obviously."

"And," Mitchell continued, "he got, well, there was something about moonlight and bathing--"

"Oh?" Vala responded.

Mitchell seemed to be fighting a grin. "Puppetry was involved."

"Oh," Vala replied, trying not to laugh. 

Mitchell looked at her sideways. "So you and he were really--"

Vala lifted her chin. "A lady never tells."

Daniel snorted, apparently deciding to acknowledge the conversation. 

She glowered at him faintly. "Arlos was usually very sweet," she explained to Mitchell. "And easily intoxicated. Though once we did actually--"

Mitchell flinched. "Please, please don't go on."

Vala smirked.

"No offense," Mitchell said, "but you don't strike me as the settling down kind."

Vala fixed her gaze on the manor gates as they approached. "Sometimes it's the only option." When she glanced over at Daniel, she saw his scowl shifting to something more thoughtful. He seemed just about to speak when Arlos's bodyguards trudged out.

"Perfect timing, boys," Vala muttered, then tried to remember how to make her face say _regret_.

**She moves from place to place**

Daniel strolled in a circle while Vala folded her borrowed robe neatly. "This place is really nice, actually," he observed. He stepped farther off the path to inspect a weathered ivory stele. "Is this--"

"Not authentic," Vala said, glancing over. When Daniel didn't keep walking, she went to stand next to him. "Sort of."

Mitchell asked, "Sort of?"

"It's possible," Vala said, "that the faithful believe it is a five thousand-year-old monument to Sirona."

"She was the consort, right?" Daniel asked.

Vala shrugged. "Possibly concubine, depending on who you ask."

"And that's a forgery?" Mitchell said.

Vala placed a hand on the cool surface of the stele. "It was made maybe six years ago? Seven, maybe."

"Ah," Mitchell responded.

Vala looked to Daniel. He pressed his palm against the ivory. "It's good workmanship," he observed.

"Not ivory," she noted.

"Really?" Daniel asked. He tapped the surface with three fingers. "How?"

Vala stepped closer to scratch the same spot that Daniel had examined. "Granite," she said, "and a clever lacquer from a chemist from Bayoald, I think."

"No offense," Mitchell said. He twitched a smile for half a second. "Deja vu. But no offense, you don't really seem like the pilgrimage type."

Vala tossed her used garment down next to the stele. Daniel frowned at her, but she wasn't talking to him, was she? "You'd be surprised how strong the allure of a warm place to sleep and two meals a day is," she said. They resumed walking.

She saw Daniel look at her, with that look that she didn't understand, so she kept on talking. "There is also the bonus," she said, "of not being constantly interrogated and shot at."

Mitchell laughed. "There is that."

***

Vala had been moved to a nicer room in the base since her previous guest quarters were on another floor. As she stood in the new room, she felt a little giddy for a moment. Stretched her arms wide and twirled.

"Hey," Daniel said and she halted her spin to find him leaning against the doorframe. "What are you doing?"

Vala shrugged and returned to resettling the handful of things she had brought with her: Clothes, a small kit of necessities, a small wooden box, a few other things.

"Doesn't look like a lot to live on," Daniel observed. "For a compulsive thief."

Vala rolled her eyes, but that was all. "The market moves quickly, Daniel." She tossed her now-empty duffel over to the side then sat on the corner of the bed. 

Daniel seemed to hesitate before he spoke. "You don't actually have a place to live, do you? 

She patted the spot beside her and was somewhat surprised when Daniel complied, settling next to her. 

"Not really," Vala answered. She thought Daniel was waiting for a further explanation, but she didn't have one. "Do you live here?"

He acceded to the change of subject. "About half of the time. Or, well," he smiled, just a bit, "I'm usually on another planet anyway."

"And the other half?" Vala asked.

"An apartment in the city," he replied. "When we don't have anything scheduled for a few days, I head back there, sometimes with Teal'c along."

"That sounds nice," she said. "Is it filled with more of your dusty old books?"

"Actually, yes," he responded. "Most of them from years ago, when I was, well. Younger." He chuckled. "I have some artifacts, from here. Earth. Most of them are too big to try to steal, but you'll like them."

Vala froze for a second. When she looked at Daniel, his expression was, well. She still wasn't sure, really, what it was.

She wasn't aware of how long they sat like that, but she was startled when Baker knocked on the open door. 

Baker looked at Daniel. Looked at Vala. "Shift change soon," she said.

"Oh," Vala replied, "thank you."

"I probably should, uh," Daniel said as he stood. "I've got some work."

"Okay," Vala said.

Daniel stuck his hands in his pockets, backed up a couple of steps. "Okay." Then he was gone.

Vala craned her head, making sure he was out of earshot. Then she turned to Baker. "You never tell me when you switch."

"Well, ma'am." Baker was still in military mode, apparently. "I didn't think you'd want Rush and Bradley to--"

Rush popped up behind her. "Want me to what?" 

Instead of answering him, Baker turned to Bradley to say whatever they did when they were trading places.

Rush looked at Vala. "Want me to what?"

Bradley stepped into the room. "Ma'am." He was already set to on-duty. He looked at Rush with no expression.

"Right," Rush said. For a moment he looked sheepish and then suddenly he was at work. "Ma'am," he said to Vala.

As they went to their assigned spots--they were quite exact about it--Baker was standing back in the hallway. 

Vala mouthed at her, _What?_

Baker grinned and jogged away.

**She never forms any lasting relationships**

If she'd known she'd be staying on Earth for more than a couple of days, Vala would have picked up a lot more clothing while she was off-world. BDUs day after day after day--it would drive her mad eventually.

It's entirely possible Finney heard Vala when she piled all the SGC clothing into a pile on her bed and, perhaps, wailed in despair.

A few days later, while Finney was teaching her poker, Baker knocked on the door. 

"Oh, hey," Vala said. "You're here quite early. Is something happening?"

Baker grinned at them, then held up a small plastic card. "You were right," she said to Finney, "it worked."

"What worked?" Vala looked from Baker to Finney and back again. 

Baker came in and closed the door while Finney grabbed Vala's clunky laptop computer (one of Daniel's latest attempts to keep her out of his office). Baker dragged a chair from the corner over to the table and seated herself.

Finney slid the computer over to Baker, who typed for a few seconds and pulled up a website with an array of clothing.

"What's going on?" Vala tried again.

Finney leaned back in her chair. "We got permission to get you a wardrobe."

Vala almost leapt up. "Seriously? I thought they'd never--" She peered closer at the screen. "I don't know, those seem a bit too flowery for me."

"Here, let me," Finney said, taking the computer back. She did a little more typing and another website popped up, this one featuring leather and boots and oh, that, she wanted to get _that_.

While Vala shopped, Baker and Finney started talking about regulation something or other, and whether Vala was considered a guest, an asset, or an ally. 

Vala finally asked, "How did you manage this?"

The two of them exchanged a look. Finney cleared her throat. "Mila and Travis in Purchasing would like to thank you for those outfits you chose for Doctor Jackson and Colonel Mitchell."

"Really?" Vala crowed. 

"Yup." Finney nodded as she showed Vala how to select what she wanted. "I'd be willing to bet their next request for civvies is going to get bounced."

***

Landry was still wary about letting Vala topside, or as he said, "Unleashing you on the unsuspecting people of Colorado." Thankfully, she still got glimpses through the staff on base.

And many of them, it turned out, had a Doctor Jackson story to tell.

She invited Mila and Travis over to show them the bounty their kindness has brought to her. She was arranging her new purchases to best effect when they arrived. Travis had the wine and Mila had three kinds of pizza.

It ended up being something of a fashion show, Vala posing, Travis finding new combinations of clothing for her to try, and Mila told them about when Doctors Jackson and Lee went to South America with a fistful of petty cash and the only receipt they brought back was a ragged map. On the other side of the map, Doctor Lee had written: _Food. Guide (2). Some medical supplies._

Doctor Jackson's contribution had been a quick glance at the map and the response, "He left off the pilot." Apparently Travis had started compiling a Jackson file, wherein most of the documents were just a series of question marks.

***

Some mornings Vala spent time in the labs with Namirah, one of Doctor Lee's assistants. Namirah been tasked with examining the Goa'uld bracelets, and Vala really wanted to know if she could replicate the effect on newer objects. No reason, really. Just wondering.

From her end, Namirah enjoyed quizzing Vala about different artifacts she had encountered. "If we are to keep these on our base," Namirah explained, "we need to analyze these from every possible angle."

"To keep them here?" Vala asked. 

Namirah nodded and shuffled through some files. "Otherwise Area 51 will claim it is theirs for research." She tugged out a report on carbon dating, whatever that meant.

Vala reached over and slid some of the other documents to her side of the table. "I would think you had dozens of Goa'uld gadgets stashed around here." Vala looked around. "Right?"

"Some," Namirah said, shooting a _don't touch that_ look at Vala. "But there are so many kinds of technology that we have little experience with."

Vala gave up her search for valuables. "Because the Goa'uld stole from so many civilizations."

"Exactly," Namirah said. "As scientists, we need to have some understanding of the _use_ of these objects before we experiment fully. Otherwise--"

"Otherwise I have my consciousness transferred to another galaxy," Vala finished. "I would think by this point you'd have oodles of information on the Goa'uld."

"And we understand some very well, and for others we have no context at all." She rooted around on the table for a magnifying glass and what looked like a pair of tweezers. "I do appreciate your help in that regard."

"Happy to help," Vala replied. "But don't you have research," she gestured vaguely, "people to do those sorts of things for you?"

Namirah rolled her eyes. "Certainly you would think so but," she said, "try asking an archaeologist a simple question and you get a recitation on parallel development and the evolution of cuneiform and, for some reason, the _Farmers' Almanac,_ and then he ends with, 'But we really don't know.'"

"Gave up on Daniel, then?" Vala deduced.

"All theory and no clear hypothesis." Namirah made a dismissive sound.

***

Vala was at the door of the kitchen, trying to follow Ari's explanation of Jell-O.

"It's an easy dessert for folks in the infirmary," Ari was saying, "but so many other people want it, we have to keep a separate cooler just for them."

Vala nodded. "But why are there so many colors?"

Ari was just about to speak when Daniel suddenly appeared, a mug in hand and a book in another. "Sorry," he said vaguely, "it's almost empty again." 

"Right," Ari responded. "Thanks, we'll refresh. Do you need it now?"

"Eh," Daniel said. "I'm good for now." He lifted his mug in Ari's direction, as if toasting, and then he wandered away again.

Vala blinked. "Did he even see me standing here?"

"I don't think he saw _me_ ," Ari replied. "It's worse for the night shift, I've heard."

"Worse?" Vala asked.

Ari shrugged. "They say he mutters."

***

Vala had asked Finney if they could visit the gym. "Mitchell told me about these shedmills that you can run on."

"Treadmills," Finney said, already walking ahead of Vala.

"Treadmills," Vala repeated. 

Finney told Vala about the other machines she could use, but they really sounded quite ridiculous. Finney shrugged. "If you can't head up, might as well." Then she gestured down the hall. "That's the weight room."

They were just about to enter when Vala heard Rush, who must have stayed on base after his last shift.

"--at her constantly," he was saying. "Even with us standing right there."

A voice she didn't recognize: "I mean, Jackson could just _shut the door_ if he wanted her out."

Vala glanced at Finney, who was doing that thing with her eyebrows that meant she totally agreed. They both backed away from the entrance until they were fully out of sight.

"--them when they were both out," somebody was saying. Vala thought it was that med tech, Ketukaeo. "There's no way."

"Seriously?" It was Alfarez, the woman assigned to Botany. "There's no way he isn't."

"Yeah," Bradley added, startling Vala, "and that time at the gate? That happens all the time."

Whitford, the one that always hummed, chimed in. "I've seen it, too. It gets intensely _Love Actually_."

A short silence.

Bradley asked, "Which part?"

Vala decided they were done with the juicy bits. She looked over at Finney, who tipped her head, which usually meant assent.

"What a coincidence," Vala sang out as she strolled in. "My third favorite security detail!" 

Rush absolutely looked guilty but, damn it all, Bradley had snapped back into his on-the-clock face.

**She uses sex as a weapon**

Vala took a deep breath as the door to Daniel's room shut behind her, pushed some shred of unease out of her mind. Tugged her robe straight. Brushed back her hair.

"Told you," Baker said as she swung open the door to Vala's room.

Vala shrugged as she walked inside. "Worth a shot."

**She prevents herself from forming any real emotional bonds**

The flight back from Washington was awkward. Teal'c seemed to be meditating, and Landry was shuffling through reports like he would burn them if he could.

Daniel was reading, of course, but Vala was starting to suspect that was a ruse. In any case, Travis had given her a stack of magazines for the flight, so she paged through those for a while.

It had been an hour and a half, maybe two, when a loud snore broke the silence. Vala glanced over--Landry had fallen asleep. Daniel had turned to look, too, and Vala finally managed eye contact.

He scowled.

"Daniel." She leaned closer to him so she wouldn't wake the others. "You'll have to talk to me eventually."

His jaw tightened. He looked down at his book, then at Vala. "You knew this was important," he almost growled, "but you just couldn't help yourself, could you?"

Vala twitched a bit, surprised. "You heard that man, Daniel," she said. "He was never going to listen. He'd made his mind up before we walked in there."

"Maybe so," Daniel conceded, "but that's not the point. He--"

"He was petty and rude," Vala interrupted. "He barely listened and then he claimed you were all lying. Was I supposed to just sit there?"

"Yes!" he burst out, then caught himself, lowering his voice again. "Yes, even if it's frustrating, we still need to have some kind of, of," he said, "decorum."

"That's not fair," Vala replied. "Why should I be the polite one when _he_ was the one insulting you?"

"Because," Daniel said, then stopped. He let out a long sigh, and when he looked up again, his anger had faded. "You're right, it's ridiculous."

"Obviously," she said. She leaned back. Brushed her hair over her shoulder. Crossed her legs and returned her attention to the stars who were _just like us!_

A few minutes later, Daniel spoke again. "Vala."

She looked up. 

"Thank you," he said.

"For what?"

He seemed to think for a second. "For saying something." He smiled, just for a second. "Even if I wish you hadn't."

Vala decided to push a little further. "And I was right."

"Well," Daniel said, "that was more like...supposition." 

"If I know one thing," Vala said, leaning forward, holding his gaze, "it's when a man is overcompensating."

At that, Daniel finally laughed.

***

"You know," Mitchell said, "you guys were taking your sweet time back there with the save."

"Daniel insisted on resetting the control crystals himself." Vala looked back from the pilot's chair, keeping her expression neutral. "Maybe he felt he had something to prove."

At that, Teal'c turned as well. "That is most unusual of you, Daniel Jackson."

"I don't see why it's a problem," Daniel said. "I know how to do it."

"Yeah," Mitchell replied, "but it's not exactly your jam, it it?"

"But it is mine." Vala stretched her arms high, since she had the audience, then smirked. "You do remember the time we met, don't you?"

"The time you kidnapped me?" Daniel responded.

"And I rigged and disabled two cargo ships, subdued and transported the entire crew of the _Prometheus_ , and figured out how to fly it without any guidance?" Vala nodded as she spoke. "Yes, that time."

Daniel looked from face to face to face, but there was no support to be found. "Fine," he said in response to nobody and stomped off.

Mitchell leaned over Vala's shoulder. "Share some details about what happened?" he asked. "Jackson's report got kind of vague in the middle."

"I'll bet it did," she said. She spun her chair around; the telling required some hand gestures.

"I do not think Daniel Jackson would appreciate this discussion," Teal'c noted.

But he stayed for the whole story anyway.

***

Vala was sitting in an extremely comfortable armchair, paging through another magazine, when Daniel entered his quarters, coffee in hand.

He sighed. "At least you're fully clothed."

Vala tipped her head. "I don't have to be." Daniel started to frown. "Kidding."

"Right," he said. He set his coffee down on the desk in the corner, sat and looked at her. "What are you doing in here?"

She held up her magazine.

"You're seriously reading _The Economist_."

Vala shrugged. "You never know what will come in handy." She waited for him to throw her out.

Instead, he picked up one of the books stacked on his desk. 

For a while, they simply sat across from each other, reading their respective texts. When Vala registered that Daniel had stopped turning pages, she looked up.

"That story you told me, about the engagement." He spoke slowly, as if he was only now discovering the words.

She set down her magazine. "Yes?"

He continued, "It was true, wasn't it? Some of it."

Vala considered the options before her and settled on the truth. "It wasn't _my_ village," she clarified. "And we weren't engaged yet. But yes."

"Okay," he replied. He maintained eye contact for what felt like an hour, then nodded. "Okay," he repeated, then turned his attention back to his book.

"Okay," Vala echoed. She waited, but that was all, so she reached over and stole his cup of coffee.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary adapted from Fiona Apple's "[Paper Bag](https://genius.com/Fiona-apple-paper-bag-lyrics)." Headings taken, of course, from the episode itself.


End file.
